I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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