You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
