I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
