I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
