Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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