that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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