my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
