i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
