Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
