somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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