are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
