just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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