now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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