is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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