Can Purell be used as lube?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
