I'm going to jail i love you
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
