Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
