i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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