Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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