It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Your dad touched me again.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
