its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
