i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
