I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
