i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
