someone get that fucking seahorse.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
