she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
