i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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