Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I would ride that face into the sunset
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
