It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
