Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
