She said her name was "party"
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
