There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
