We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
