I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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