No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
