He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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