It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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