apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
