When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
