Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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