Buhtt sex?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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