we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
