i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
