what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
