Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
