The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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