How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
