he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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