Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
