I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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