I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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